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"Nice Old Man?"
posted March 3, 2008 @4:05p
It's been along time since I've hit a pedestrian with my car. Years, in fact. But Mean Old Man nearly shattered my record this morning.

I was cruising along in the Rabbit, enjoying this awesome weather. I had the wind on my face, The Doors on my radio and new flip-flops on my feet. As I topped the hill that separates the two parts of Mean Old Man's farm, I could see him in the straightaway ahead. There was a car approaching on my left, and he was walking towards me, in my lane.

Not on the side of the road. In my lane.

In order to avoid hitting him or the passing car, I came to a complete stop. As I applied the brake, my facial expression didn't change. I just looked him in the eye, waiting for a provocation. He stared back with his standard mean old smirk.

Once the other vehicle passed, I drove into the other lane so I could avoid killing Mean Old Man. And when he was behind me, I looked in the rear view mirror, to see his reaction of my presence. There he stood, in the road, having turned around just to stare me down.

Even though I find it hilarious, I always get that feeling in the pit of my gut. It's the same feeling I would have in middle school when I had to deal with a bully, or in high school when I'd have a "discussion" with one of the principals. Adrenaline pumps through my veins just in case there's about to be a throwdown. Not like I'd get out of my car and yell, "do you want a piece of me?!" I don't even know the guy; but for some reason, it happens every time.

Later today, I had to drive past his farm again. This time, as I topped the mean old hill, I could see that he was in the middle of leading his cattle across the road, as he does from time to time. Luckily, there was a car in front of me. That way, I figured, I wouldn't have to deal with the wrath of the Mean Old Man. Or, if I did, at least there was someone else to share it with me.

As I waited for the cattle to pass I thought, "this is perfect. I get to see him dump his meanness onto someone else. This is gonna be funny."

Once the cattle were clear from the roadway, he signaled for the first car - that car in front of me - to drive by.

"Here it comes," I thought giddily. "I can't wait to see what he does to this person..."

He signaled the car, waved, then smiled.

Could Mean Old Man have changed his ways? Could he have turned his life around?

As I applied the gas to stay behind the first vehicle, I prepared to smile and wave, expecting him to treat me as he treated the driver in front of me.

Instead, the smile immediately melted from his face. He frowned. Then he stared at me angrily until I was no longer in his field of vision.


"about to be a throwdown"!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!! I was having a bad morning, but you just turned it around! Where in the world do you live that has a cattle drive through your neighborhood? That's the part that concerns me!

posted by Pamela on 3/4/2008 @7:02:08 AM

Well good!

It IS very concerning. It's across a pretty major road in Knoxville. It's not a four-lane, but it connects two other major roads, and is the location of a school, a hospital, and three gas stations. Craziness.

posted by Jason Wells on 3/11/2008 @8:28:40 AM
YOU @#%!! #%$ EATING LITLLE #$@^#%, YOU AND I ARE GOING TO HAVE OUR DAY!! MEAN OLD MAN Nahhh... It's just me. One of the Dans. Peace man, keep'em yelling.

posted by MeanOldMan on 4/10/2008 @8:51:19 AM

I'll do what I can. In fact... I'd really like to get a photo of Mean Old Man mid-yell. That'd be pretty awesome.

posted by Jason Wells on 4/12/2008 @3:51:20 PM
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