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"Island Of Misfits"
posted December 26, 2006 @12:39a
I recently cleaned out the bottom drawer in my dresser. It's my sock drawer - the one I always dread organizing and that I never wanna go through. The process is always the same; months and months go by, sometimes even years, without straightening that drawer. And then when I finally start to organize it, I realize it's packed with misfits, losers and freakshows: socks with toes missing, socks with no mates, and socks I no longer even recognize. So I dig and dig, removing all those unwanted socks. As I start to see the bottom of the drawer, I see little pieces of... stuff... I guess it's lint, paper, dust... I don't know... I have no idea what that junk is. So I end up taking all the socks out, then beating the drawer on the front porch, open-end up, trying to completely clean that thing out. I put the drawer back in the dresser, then muddle through all the socks I have in a pile, trying to determine which ones to keep. Inevitably, I have to throw many away, but each for different reasons. Sometimes they're so poorly made they get holes almost immediately. Sometimes they're just so horribly uncomfortable, I don't ever wanna see them again. And sometimes still, I've done such a bad job of taking care of them that they fall apart.

Christmas hasn't been the same this year. Everything in my life is completely, wholly and totally different than it was last year at this same time. Don't get me wrong - it's been a wonderful, memorable season. It's just different, and there are people I'm used to seeing this time of year that I miss. It's been a bittersweet Christmas, but sweet nonetheless. My solace is that it's like I'm starting with a brand new, completely organized sock drawer, full of nothing but perfect socks. I just gotta keep myself from wearing holes into all the new pairs.

I spent the last two days with relatives, and, upon arriving, was quickly reminded that being with family is always a humbling experience. You may be a well-loved employee where you work, the leader of your own company, or even a rock star - but when you're home, you're just another member of the family. I love it. I have great parents, interesting siblings and a fun extended family. My oldest brother is a genetic engineer, and my other brother is like having a stand-up comedian on call at all times. And then there's me, the quirky, youngest brother, with the big hair, weird clothes and strange stories. Imagine putting Cosmo Kramer, Albert Einstein and Dave Chappelle in a room, all at the same time.


My mom is an amazing artist and writer. Dad leads huge projects and teams of people, larger than I could ever contend with, but nobody ever knows what he's talking about.

So, now... add Mary Shelly and George W. Bush to that group.

As you may surmise, it takes a great deal of strategery to participate in conversation.


Like I said, I had a great time, and being with my family makes me thankful for the people I've been blessed with. On the way home tonight, I heard somebody say this on the radio: "to all you parents out there: when you speak to your child in anger, those things you say can have a permanent effect - shape the very life - of your child. Be very careful in what you say." Thankfully, that's something I've never had to worry about with my family. I couldn't imagine having to deal with a Vin Diesel, Dr. Evil, or even Mean Old Man being related to me.

...speaking of Mean Old Man, I haven't seen him out in the middle of the road, shaking his fist and yelling at me lately... But don't fret - he's been replaced with somebody worse, even more mean: Mean Old Lady. Mean Old Lady hates my guts, and is not afraid to share that information with anybody and everybody. From telling me directly that "we" (yes, there's apparently a "we" that represents an entire Mean Old Team) "don't think very much of you," to slamming the door in my face, there has been no shortage of Mean Old Stories to tell. I've been holding them back, keeping them all contained. But they're beginning to ferment, and there's bound to soon be a word explosion...

I hope everybody had a Merry Christmas. And I hope the new year brings all good stuff.

I feel good.


Man, I need to clean my sock drawer out. I haven't cleaned it out since 1999. I got something for Christmas this year that I have never in the 31 years of my life received... yes you guessed it, a pair of socks. Very interesting to say the least. Happy New Year!

posted by Eddie on 12/29/2006 @8:18:30 AM

I was about to say that was hard to believe, but... I don't think I've ever gotten socks. I'm sorry to hear that man. Happy New Year at you!

posted by Jason Wells on 12/29/2006 @5:21:07 PM
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